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  • Writer's pictureLet's Check-In

Life's Space Walk: Peaceful or Isolating?

We all come into this world alone—unless you are an identical twin. For the rest of our lives we share our journey with others.

Stepping Boldly, Alone - image courtesy of iStock

Some come from large families, others small. There are those with lots of friends in their circles, others who prefer to fly solo, and everything in between. One thing for sure, we all need some type of connection with others in order to find peace of mind. Pets can serve as the kind of loyal companions that make our lives feel more complete, but there are limitations in those relationships based on species.

There are many reasons that adults live alone during various stages of life. Sometimes folks choose to live on their own, while others have that situation thrust upon them due to unforeseen circumstances such as pursuing a job opportunity in a new city, separation or divorce, or even the unexpected death of a life partner or spouse. So how does one live their best life while alone, but without being lonely? Now that is a good question.

Alone vs. Lonely

We all have had moments when we were in a crowd of people, yet felt totally isolated. Is that just feeling or is it a state of being? The way you answer that question will help you better understand who you are in the context of your relationships. Feelings are transitory. One can feel terrible one minute and then have something wonderful happen the next, changing our mood for the better. On the other hand, if isolation is your default mode, then you must find peace in your solitude.

Bike and Bridge - image courtesy of the author

I am a fairly gregarious person with a pretty large network of friends and family that I stay engaged with. On the other hand, my favorite physical activities are biking, swimming, and playing Frisbee. The two former sports are solitary in nature for me, and a big part of their appeal is the quiet time spent alone with my own thoughts. Freestyle Frisbee (doing tricks while playing catch) has opened the door to a new family of like-minded folks from around the world who share my passions of flying plastic. So while I may enjoy my time alone, it is a blessing to say that I am rarely lonely. This was not always the case. When my marriage broke up I was forced to create a new life for myself. Part of that process was parting ways with some people who were very dear to me, while cultivating a new relationship with the world as a whole. The greatest challenge was internal. How much or how little do I share with people? Can I allow others into my “inner sanctum” when that could leave me feeling vulnerable? I wrestled with that balance for a long time and, like most of us, still do.

Being alone is a fine if not always easy choice, but being lonely is much harder to deal with. Frankly, that is why the folks at Let’s Check-In are here to help others find that middle ground. One can speak in confidence about anything without being judged. Our end-user defines the content, context, time and level of intimacy within the exchange.

Take time to think about what truly makes you happy. Are the people in your circle, no matter how large or small, helping you find peace of mind? Work to build that network of relationships so you can lead a life that leaves you feeling fulfilled. Stay connected!

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